Funny Dad Scratching Wall Creep Kids Out
What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?
She would be frantically scratching at the roof of her coffin.
What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?
Scratching at the lid of his coffin.
What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?
Scratching at the inside of his coffin.
Mental institution
There's a mental institution, and they are having a
patient evaluation, to see if any patients need to be there
any longer. The doctor then goes around questioning the top three candidates.
He goes to the first patient and asks him , "What is 3 times 3?"
After an hour of scratching his head, and with a confused look on his face he replies, "Two-hundred!".
"That is incorrect." The doctor responds.
He then asks the next patient."What is 3 multiplied by 3?" After a long period of time the patient
responds, "Thursday!". "That is incorrect replies the doctor.
He then goes to the next patient and asks him, "What is 3 times 3?"
The patient quickly responds, "Nine!". The doctor then says "Correct!,
how did you figure that out?" The patient then responds, "I multiplied, 200 by Thursday and then
I added three!"
Do you know what my grandmother would be doing today if she was alive
Scratching at her coffin
A Japanese man observes his son scratching his knee.
He comments, "Itchy knee, son?"
The son replies, "I already know how to count, Dad!"
What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?!
Scratching at the inside of her coffin.
Courtesy of my dad.
The sore throat
Carl, a young man, woke up and suffered from an awful sore throat and all but lost his voice. The small town's doctor operated out of his own home, so Carl made his way over, scratching at his sore throat.
Dr. Wendell's wife answered the door, "Yes?"
Carl, in a very quiet, breathy voice replied, "Is the doctor in?"
Mrs. Wendell replied in the same whispering tone, "No.... come on in!"
*-Groucho Marx*
Quidditch.
Scratching yourself with a pound coin.
What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?
He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"
If MLK were alive today...
he'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin screaming, "Let me out! I'm not dead! Let me out! I'm alive!"
You can explore scratching surface reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean scratching scrape dad jokes. There are also scratching puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man is at a hotel with his wife's friend when he receives a message and gets surprised.
The mistress asks: "who was it my love?". He answers scratching his head: "it was my wife, she said she is going to be late because she went to the movies with you".
Headlice are now resistant to the usual medical treatments....
The problem has scientists scratching their heads.
A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment.
Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.
A doctor walked into a restaurant
While he's ordering, he noticed the waiter kept scratching his behind and felt uneasy. Wanting to help, he asked the waiter, "you got hemorrhoid?"
The waiter thought for a second and then asked the doctor, "can you please order from the menu?"
Lice Technicians who work with substandard tools...
Do their poor working conditions leave them scratching their heads?
Lice have become resistant to most conventional treatments.
Scientists are scratching their heads.
If Paul Walker was alive right now, I bet he would be
Frantically scratching at the inside of his coffin.
Why was Harry Potter scratching himself with a pound coin?
He had quid-itch.
I got kicked out of Microsoft store ...
I was merely scratching the Surface ...
When you put catnip in a scratching board to encourage cats to scratch it, you think it's cute when they use it.
But I would think that from their point of view, it's more like a crack addict that dropped a rock through a grate and is trying to get it back.
When Juan told me he was scratching himself during a questionnaire, I was surprised.
After all, nobody expects the Spanish in-quiz itching.
Why are Croatians constantly scratching?
Because they've all got an ic.
Did you hear about the nun who couldn't stop scratching her head?
It was a bad habit.
(From my 7 year old) If you tickle yourself too hard...
... you're just scratching.
What would princess Diana...
...be doing, if she was still alive today?
Scratching her coffin and screaming.
They've discovered a new strain of head lice, but they haven't found a cure yet
It's got scientists scratching their heads.
I have many complaints about women with kitty rings
and that's just scratching the surface
Why do you keep scratching yourself?
Because I'm the only one who knows where it itches.
A new strain of head lice is going around, which is resistant to all conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads.
A new strain of head lice has been discovered which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
If Elvis Presley was alive today, what do you think he'd be doing right now?
Scratching at the coffin lid, screaming Let me out!
A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...
The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:
"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."
Poof, and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:
"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."
Poof, and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.
"I want those two goddamn loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the scratching gerbil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working scratching rub piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/scratching-jokes.html
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